Bleach Play Day
by Deacol
Summary: It is Christmas and Yamamoto wants his school, Seireitei High, to celebrate it with something…special. No one's willing, but Yamamoto insists. What does Renji have in mind?
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

Everyone at Seireitei High School was excited. People were hanging up decorations and decorating the place with many other pretty things. It was Christmas. People were expecting presents. And the principal of the school, Yamamoto, was expecting the students of the school _and_ teachers to do something special for the celebration of Christmas. Nobody was bothered, but it seemed Yamamoto was very determined that they do it so that he could feel proud about his school.

"What...shall we do?" asked Kira Izuru. "To celebrate this particular Christmas."

"Goddammit why does Yamamoto want us to do this crap? Christmas is a time for relaxing and fun, not hard work!" cried out Hisagi, frustrated that they had to do work instead of blowing their money for days on end on crap.

You see, there were three people at the meeting: Hisagi, Kira and Renji. These three were trying to come up with something. They were also the prefects of the school.

Silence ensued. They were all deep within their thoughts until...

"I GOT IT!!!" yelled out Renji. The other two looked at him, eyes wide and expecting. Renji could be stupid most of the time, but sometimes he could be creative and come up with a satisfactory idea.

"Let's do a Play Day!"

"A play day?" asked Kira. "What? So we dress up and act? A play like...Hamlet?"

"No! I don't want to act. That's a gay idea Renji!" replied Hisagi.

"What, Hamlet? You kidding me, hell no! We'll just do those Aesop's fairy tales and the Grimm Brother stories and act them out. It'll be simple! All plays are interesting anyway," explained Renji. "So, do you guys want to go with this idea or not?"

Kira and Hisagi pondered the idea.

"_I'm not screwed to think up another idea," _thought Hisagi.

"_It seems good enough..." _thought Kira.

"Okay then," said Kira and Hisagi in unison.

"We should tell the whole school then! Most of them will get a part. The ones who don't can just watch. And I'm guessing Yamamoto's not going to be willing to take a part in this play day will he?" asked Renji with a chuckle. He was trying to imagine Yamamoto acting. It kind of failed.

"Let's go, to the announcement box!" said Hisagi, and the three headed off.


	2. Little Red Riding Hood

**CHAPTER 1: Little Red Riding Hood**

"EVERYBODY!! Please be qui―"

"SHUT UP!!" screamed Renji, cutting Kira's polite line. It worked. Everyone turned their attention to Renji.

"Well, let's start then shall we?" said Hisagi.

"Get on with it, you guys are wasting our time!" shouted the unmistakeable Ikakku from the crowd.

"Oh yeah, well, us three racked our brains to come up with something to do this Christmas to please that goddamn Yamamoto! You outta thank us for coming up with an idea, instead of chiding us like that!" yelled back Renji in reply. "Hisagi, you start."

"Right then." Hisagi cleared this throat and took hold of a microphone. "For this coming Christmas, Yamamoto has forced…I mean _asked_ us, students and teachers to do something to celebrate this special day. So, we decided that we should do a play day―"

"What kind of lame idea is that? You _decided_? Don't we get a say in this. I don't want to act!" shouted Ikkaku, again the one who always voices their thoughts.

"Well, I can't come up with a better idea, and frankly, I don't give a damn for this _Christmas_, so let's just do this shall we? Any objections?" asked Hisagi. Quite a few hands went up, but it was less than half.

"We win. Too bad…anyways, we have control don't we? We're the only prefects of the school," stated Kira.

"True. Now, hands up for ideas on which play we should do!" called out Renji. Matsumoto's hand shot up.

"Midsummer's Night Dream!" she yelled out.

"NO SHAKESPEARE. Number one, it's complicated. Number two, it's too long. Number 3, Shakespeare sucks. Next suggestion!" said Renji, yelling into the mic.

Small chatter amongst the crowd erupted. Either people were actually contemplating which play to do, or they lost interest and were talking about their own things.

"Oh, me! I got one!" shouted Kiyone.

"You better make it good!" said Renji.

"Little Red Riding Hood! I've always liked that story!" chirped Kiyone.

"Hey, good idea!" commented Hisagi.

"It's not too long…and we're all familiar with the story and plot…" said Kira. Renji nodded, he too agreed with the idea.

"Ok, character choice! Who will be Little Red Riding Hood?" asked Renji.

"You, coz you have red hair!" yelled out Ikkaku.

"Shuddup you bastard. I am _not_ going to be the Little Red Riding bitch! Any better choices?"

"Pick me, pick me!" yelled Matsumoto as she jumped up from her seat.

"It's _Little_ Red Riding Hood, you're hardly little. Sit down," replied Renji. Calmly and quietly, a boy raised his hand.

"Hitsugaya? What's your suggestion?" asked Kira, spotting the little guy's raised arm. Unless of course, Hitsugaya wanted to be Little Red Riding Hood…but that seemed unlikely.

"Hinamori Momo," said Hitsugaya.

"Momo?" Kira searched the crowd for his good friend. She was seated next to Sosuke Aizen. "So Momo, what do you think?"

"Ah…I'm not sure if I could take on such a role…" muttered Hinamori.

"It'll be fine, there's always a first time for everything," said Aizen with a smile. His smile always made Hinamori feel safe, and so she accepted the role of LRRH. Renji wrote down her name next the LRRH slot in his exercise book. Underneath LRRH read 'Wolf'.

"Who's next?" asked Hisagi.

"The big bad wolf," replied Renji.

"Who shall be the wolf?" called out Hisagi.

"I vote Komamura Sajin!" shouted Renji. Oh, he had had this in mind since the start. "Any objections?"

Some people laughed. Who else but the fox/wolf/animal/beast thing to take the role of the big bad wolf?

"I'm a fox, not a freaking wolf!" hollered Komamura.

"Too bad, that spot was reserved for you ever since we decided on doing a play day. You'll make our plays _so_ real! We don't have to hire an animal or make someone dress up in a wolf suit!" replied Renji, smirking.

Komamura growled angrily. "Tousen, say something! How can you let such unjust action just pass?"

"Sorry, I can't see, I don't know, I can't help you, I don't know, I can't see!" screamed Tousen. It was his favourite line to get him out of situations he didn't like. Komamura growled again. He couldn't help it. Renji had already written his name in the book.

"Next person is…the one tree cutter person who comes in to save Little Red Riding Hood!" declared Renji. The three prefects talked between themselves while the rest of the school chatted.

"Who should take this role?" asked Kira.

"Dunno…what about me?" asked Renji.

"No way, you're too gay. You're not good enough to save someone," replied Hisagi.

"Hey!" Renji punched the man in the arm.

"What about…Tousen?" asked Renji.

"He's blind, it would be weird for him to save a girl from a wolf. Besides, I don't think the role would suit him," said Kira. "What about…Toshirou?"

"Toshirou…?" Renji looked at the boy sideways. "But he's kinda short―"

Hisagi grinned. "And that would make it funny, wouldn't it?" The three nodded at each other and turned back to the school

"Hitsugaya Toshirou!" yelled Renji. "You are to be the tree cutter person. Have fun." Renji wrote his name down in his book.

"What? I haven't complied yet!" argued Hitsugaya. "I'm not going to charge into a home and save Little Red Riding Hood! What are you guys thinking?"

"No complaints. We're prefects, we own," explained Hisagi. "The next person is the grandmother right?"

"No one's old enough but Yama-ji!" shouted Shunsui. People laughed as they conjured up the image of Yamamoto dressed up as a woman.

The hall door suddenly opened. Yamamoto shuffled in with his staff, grandly (somehow, don't ask). "I have a candidate for that role." People gasped. The principal wasn't _actually_ going to dress us as a female was he?

"Who would it be?" asked Ukitake.

"My mother."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"And our first play of the day will be, Little Red Riding Hood!" exclaimed Kiyone, talking straight into the microphone. They had decided that whoever suggested the idea for the play would be the narrator for that particular play. The students and teachers and parents and families and friends and randoms put their hands together to welcome the acting crew of Little Red Riding Hood to the stage.

Hinamori came onto the stage, dressed in red clothes, red hood and wearing a red wig.

"Hmm, I'll go visit my grandma today. Mummy said she was sick… What shall I bring granny?" asked Hinamori. She looked around the makeshift home on the stage and spotted a tray of cookies. "Ah! I'll just take these cookies mummy made for daddy to granny! I'm sure daddy won't mind, children should always treat their parents with lots of respect!"

Hinamori poured all the cookies into a basket and left the house to her grandma's place. The makeshift house got moved off the stage as Hinamori skipped down the road to her grandma's house. She passed through the outskirts of a forest and noticed a field of little white flowers.

"Ah, they are so pretty!" squealed Hinamori. She plucked a few without a second thought for nature. "They will look good in granny's vase!"

Unfortunately, she did not realise the wolf watching her in the shadows. The wolf ran ahead…to wait for her at her grandmother's house.

Upon slow walking in circles around the stage, she finally reached her grandma's house, which got wheeled in by the backstage helpers, Rikichi and Senbatarou. Hinamori walked into the house and set the flowers in a white vase.

"Ah, granny!" she greeted. You see, because this is what the play is like, Little Red Riding Hood is kind of pathetic, so she doesn't realise that her grandmother has been substituted by a wolf. "My, you have changed a lot! What big ears you have!"

"All the better to hear you with, my dear little granddaughter," growled the wolf grandma, Komamura.

"Ah I see. Oh, what a deep growly voice you have!" asked Hinamori. She set about laying out her cookies onto one of her grandmother's white china plates. "Have some cookies granny!"

Komamura stared at the cookies for a while. Cookies? What kind of wolf eats cookies? They ate meat…and human flesh tasted the best. "My growly voice is because of the phlegm in my throat."

"Aww, that's not good is it grandma?" Hinamori peered at Komamura's beady yellow eyes. "What big eyes you have!"

"_What, big eyes? They're tiny compared to his face," said Tousen. Aizen looked quizzically at him. _

"_You can see…I mean, you know what his eyes look like? How?" asked Aizen. Tousen was silent for a moment._

"_I just do."_

"All the better to see you, my dear." Komamura awkwardly placed a tiny cookie into his jaw. After a moment's thought, he took a bunch and shoved them into his mouth, his sharp teeth grinding the delicate cookies to bits.

"I'm glad you like them. Oh, grandma! What a big nose you have!" Hinamori reached to touch the wolf's nose but was quickly batted away by the wolf's paw. The nose was a sensitive place, only he could touch it.

"All the better to smell your fragrant smell. I would appreciate it if you didn't touch my nose, dear one," said Komamura, grabbing more cookies and shoving them all into his mouth. They did taste pretty nice, but Komamura knew, the girl would taste better.

"And…and what big, sharp and shiny teeth you have!" exclaimed Hinamori like a little girl. Wait, she _was_ a little girl!

"All the better to _eat _you with!" shouted Komamura excitedly. He had waited patiently for that line, and it was his cue to eat the girl. With a roar, he stretched his claws at the now screaming Hinamori.

"Grandma, I never knew you were a cannibal!" she screamed.

_Can a girl really be that stupid?_ thought Komamura. Just as we was about to consume the girl's head, a dark figure appeared at the door.

"STOP. SHE DOESN'T LIKE WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" yelled the figure. It was Hitsugaya Toshirou, dressed in rough clothes, holding a chainsaw.

The crowd laughed at the sight of a short little white haired boy dressed in burly clothes, holding a chainsaw that was about his own size and height and was obviously too big for him.

"Does it look like I care if she likes it or not?" yelled back Komamura.

"You will stop, or I will chop your head off with this!" Hitsugaya let his chainsaw run and the chainsaw growled its horrible growl.

"Toshiro, save me!!" yelled Hinamori in a pathetic little voice. Hitsugaya raised the chainsaw to meet the beast's neck.

"Let go of her or you won't get out of this house," threatened Hitsugaya.

"Alright, alright," growled Komamura. What a shame, he didn't get to have his lunch. With a sigh, he let go of Hinamori. Hinamori ran to Hitsugaya and hid behind him.

"Toshirou, grandma turned into a cannibal!"

Hitsugaya looked at her weirdly. "Momo, that's a wolf. It's very different to you grandma." Hitsugaya then glared at the wolf. "Where did you hide her?"

"What? I beg your pardon?" asked Komamura. He knew what Hitsugaya was talking about.

"Her grandma."

"Oh her…I dunno, maybe I ate her?" said Komamura, licking his paw. He soon felt the whir of the chainsaw up near his neck. "Gahhhhhh!! She's in the cupboard!"

Hitsugaya moved towards the cupboard and loped off the top with his chainsaw. Inside was Hinamori's grandma. Hitsugaya helped the old woman out of her temporary and rather strange, cage.

"Tha-than-thank-tankyou, sir," thanked the old woman.

"_Ouch, Yama-ji's mother can't even speak properly any more!" said Shunsui._

"_Indeed…how old is his mother anyway? I've never heard about Yamamoto-sensei's mother until now!" wondered Ukitake. Two fingers tapped Shunsui and Ukitake each on the shoulder. The two had not known that Yamamoto was sitting right behind them._

"_Don't talk about my mummy like that. She's the best mother in the world!" said Yamamoto. "Let me hear no more about her old age."_

_The two disciples of Yamamoto cringed. "Yes sensei…"_

"What? I don't understand! Why is there a doppelganger of my granny inside the cupboard??!!"

"Oh my god Hinamori! That one in bed is a freaking wolf which pretended to be your grandma!" yelled Hitsugaya, obviously irritated at Hinamori's fake stupidity.

"Oh…I see the differences now!" said Hinamori in a shrill voice. Hitsugaya waved his deadly chainsaw about.

"Get out, wolf!" he screamed. "Or I'll carve you up."

The wolf got out of the bed and scuttled out the door.

"Oi! You're still wearing old granny's clothes!" shouted Hitsugaya.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Komamura instantly shed the clothes and now stood naked on the stage. But animals with fur never wore clothes anyway, so no one cared.

"_Sajin's 'naked'. Looks like he's not very used to standing naked in front of everyone," commented Tousen. Aizen once again looked at him, amazed._

"_How can you see all this?" asked Aizen once again, looking at Tousen's shielded eyes._

"_I just can."_

Komamura ran away back into the forest (well, the backstage really). _I just stood naked in front of the whole school!_ thought Komamura, shamed by his own actions.

Back on stage, Hitsugaya turned his chainsaw off and watched Hinamori and her grandmother.

"Toshirou the tree cutter! I thank you very much for saving the two of us! How did you know we were in trouble? And how did you get here so fast?" Hinamori asked.

"I heard your scream come from this house," said Hitsugaya. "And to answer your second question…"

Hinamori looked at him in awe.

"I shunpo'd."

Hinamori gasped. "What's that?"

Hitsugaya waved the question away. "Never mind. What really matters is that you two are alright. I'll be going now, if everything's fine." Hitsugaya moved towards the door of the house.

"You know, Toshirou, I would gladly walk out and live happily ever after with you…if only you were taller…"

Hitsugaya glared at the girl. "My height is perfectly fine, bed wetter Momo." With that, he picked up his much-too-big-for-him chainsaw and left.

"And they all lived happily ever after by themselves, leading their own separate lives. The end!" chirped Kiyone happily, jumping off the chair she was given.

The Little Red Riding Hood acting crew filed out and bowed. Komamura's fabled tail was seen by the whole school. He felt really embarrassed and quickly scampered away when the actors could go back and change into their normal clothes.

The crowd cheered as they left.

"GO KOMAMURA SAJIN!" yelled Tousen.

"How unexpected…" muttered Aizen. "I can name another famous play off the top of my head which has a big bad wolf."

"Well, Komamura will have fun, won't he?" replied Tousen.

"And the next play will be Cinderella!" yelled Kiyone before running down the stage. "Ukitake-sensei, did I do a good job?"

"Of course you did Kiyone-san!" replied Ukitake. He was still a bit amazed as to how Yamamoto had spoken when talking about his very, very old and ancient mother.

"My mother did a better job," said Yamamoto.

* * *

Lol, that was weird…I hope you understood that the italiced paragraphs were the audience's comments and weren't part of the play. I'm sure you do.

Anyways, thanks for reading! I really appreciate it. And I would appreciate it even more if you gave me a review!


	3. Cinderella

**CHAPTER 2: Cinderella**

After a few awkward moments, Renji put down Yamamoto's mother in the grandmother slot.

"And that's it for Little Red Riding Hood! Alright, next play!" shouted Renji.

"This is retarded!" screamed out Ikkaku.

"Shut up! You're the one who's retarded!" retorted Renji, ignoring the rest of Ikkaku's protests.

The rest of the school were muttering between themselves. No one seemed to have come up with an idea.

"How about we ask you…What's your favourite fairytale?" asked Kira.

"The frog in the well!" shouted Soi Fon.

"What the hell is that?" asked Hisagi.

"It's a Chinese tale of—"

"We'd appreciate it if we all knew what it was…so European tales please!" said Kira.

"What about Cinderella? I'm sure we all know what that is," said Unohana with her gentle and caring voice.

Everything Unohana-sensei said was sensible. The three prefects nodded in agreement.

"Then Cinderella it is!" shouted Renji. "Alright, who's Cinderella!"

"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" shouted Matsumoto. "You know you'll love me as Cinderella!"

Renji and Hisagi stared at the woman and shook their heads.

"You wouldn't work…Cinderella should be someone meek…" muttered Hisagi. Renji suddenly laughed randomly. "You got someone in mind Renji?"

"Yeah! Rukia!" exclaimed Renji.

"Are you saying I'm _meek_, Renji?" growled Rukia in her low voice. Renji laughed again.

"I reckon so." Renji got a handful of konpeito(1) thrown at his head.

"Retard!"

"Too bad!" Renji pencilled in Rukia's name for the Cinderella spot.

"Screw you Renji!" Rukia plopped back into her seat and frowned.

"I think Matsumoto should be the stepmother…" said Kira.

"What does that mean? Am I that old?" yelled Matsumoto. "I got the body, the figure of a young woman! I should at least be a stepsister!"

"Too bad," Renji said again as he scrawled Matsumoto Rangiku into the book.

"The two stepsisters?" asked Hisagi.

"NANAO-CHAN!" yelled Shunsui. He was promptly whacked on the head by a thick volume.

"Don't put me forward without my—"

"And Nanao is stepsister one…" called out Hisagi. Nanao pushed her glasses up with force.

"WHAT?"

"Soi Fon can be the other stepsister!" shouted Omaeda. Soi Fon glared at the fat man who was currently stuffing himself with chips.

"Do you want me to kill you?" terrorized Soi Fon.

"And Soi Fon is stepsister two!" Hisagi called out again. Soi Fon punched Omaeda in the face, making him spit out the chips he had just placed into his big mouth onto Yoruichi's foot. Yoruichi glared at him. Oh, this was a bad day for fat boy Omaeda.

"All, we need now are a fairy godmother and a prince…" said Kira, thoughtfully pondering who could take the role and do it properly.

"How about Kaien?" asked Ukitake.

"Hmm, ok, Kaien it is!" shouted Renji. Ah, rash decisions for the win.

"I'll be with little Rukia-chan," said Kaien with a smile as he ruffled Rukia's black hair.

"And the fairy godmother will be..." said Hisagi as he looked over the crowd.

"Ukitake-sensei!" called out Kaien.

"That means fairy godfather," said Kira.

"Are you trying to make this a Class Thirteen(2) play?" asked Renji with a laugh as he scribbled down Ukitake Jyuushirou.

"Why me?" asked Ukitake who raised his brow at Kaien's suggestion.

"Coz you're that nice type _and_ you're Rukia's teacher," explained Kaien. Ukitake shrugged.

"Whatever, it's not like I can change it now…"

"Have fun, bestie," said Shunsui, patting his best friend on the back.

Renji snapped his book shut. "Cinderella casting done!"

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Once upon time, there lived a young girl called Rukia. She was beautiful, elegant, but her best quality was her kind heart…" started Unohana.

"_Beautiful, elegant? KIND HEART? Rukia? That's hilarious," commented Renji, sniggering. Byakuya said nothing._

"But her step mother and sisters thought otherwise. They were all jealous of her, so they subjected her to do all the chores, like a slave. They took advantage of her gentle soul. What was more fun than overpowering someone who was better than you in so many ways?" said Unohana, her quiet, yet strong voice floating over the audience.

"Oi, bitch, get over here. I want a foot massage!" yelled Soi Fon at Rukia who was washing up the dishes.

"Yes sister…" Rukia obediently glided over to her sister and knelt down before her. She gently gripped her sister's foot and 'kneaded' it. It was horrible and lowly, yes, but what could she do? This was her only home!

"Soi Fon…aren't you being a little mean there?" asked Nanao, glancing at Rukia over her thick book. Soi Fon didn't look in her sister's direction. Her eyes were glued to the television screen.

"This is the nicest I can get," replied Soi Fon.

At that moment, a woman stumbled in through the door.

"Yo mum, did you get yourself drunk like hell again?" asked Soi Fon as she heard the commotion.

"I'm peeeeeerrrrfectly fiiiiiiiiiiine!" drawled Matsumoto, holding a bottle of wine, swaggering into the room, almost falling over her own feet.

"Mother…" Rukia left her sister's foot to help Matsumoto.

"Get off me, girl. I said I'm fine." Matsumoto fell over right after saying that, creating a loud 'smack' as she landed on the wooden floor. "Who put that there?" she yelled.

"Put what where?" asked Rukia, confused.

"Despite her hatred to her family, she still complied with all their requests and did all the housework. This was due to her soft and caring heart, and she didn't have the valour, power and determination to yell at her family. All she wanted was some peace, she hated arguing. That was why she didn't mind doing all those depressing things her family asked from her," said Unohana and she looked back to the stage and watched the play as it continued.

"THAT! Look at that big box! Rukia! You're supposed to pack everything away!" screamed Matsumoto, gesturing at thin air.

"Mother, there is no box there…are you hallucinating? You must've had too much to drink—"

"Me _hallucinating_? You do not have any right to say that about me!" screeched Matsumoto which was then followed by a slap to Rukia's cheek. It stung. Rukia's placed her hand on the angry red mark. _Ouch,_ thought Rukia. Her first action was to apologise.

"I'm sorry mother, I shouldn't have said that about you. Of course you're perfectly fine, what am I talking about?" Rukia faked a laugh. She then turned to move away.

"Maybe you should pack away the big box, Rukia," said Nanao with a smirk. She enjoyed watching her step sister get owned.

"Why, how could I possibly forget? We don't want someone else falling over it do we?" Rukia bent down to pick up the imaginary box and placed it on a shelf. Matsumoto picked herself up and dusted herself. She was still drunk, but had recovered a bit. She dug her hands into her chest and pulled out a letter.

"After all that crap, thanks to the _bitch_, my good mood is now gone! Geez, well, anyway, I have the letter which the Prince has specifically sent to us. It's about his masquerade ball!" Matsumoto's mood seemed to have recovered its usual hyper-ness for that moment. Nanao looked interested. Soi Fon rushed to her mother's side.

"Oh, really? Lemme see!" Soi Fon snatched the letter and read it. "A ball!"

"A ball!" echoed Matsumoto. The two held hands and danced around in circles. While they were doing that, Nanao made her way to the letter and read it herself.

"It says we need to wear a mask…" Nanao then pondered which mask she should wear. As the three were all occupied with their own emotions and thoughts, Rukia silently went up to the table and as she laid her eyes on the first word, Nanao's hand stopped her.

"Nup, not for you Rukia. The ball isn't for lowly people like you," snickered Nanao. Ah, to see the hurt in Rukia's eyes…

"But it says here…everyone of the household…" started Rukia, trying to argue. Matsumoto and Soi Fon had danced a full circle and passed by Nanao and Rukia.

"You wanna go, Rukia?" asked Matsumoto. Rukia looked at Matsumoto with a cutsy-look.

"Yes mother…"'

"Nope, too bad."

"No ball for you, biatch!" chirped Soi Fon. "Go back to work. A dirty duckling like you could never mingle with swans!"

Rukia sighed. What could she possibly do to persuade them? Nothing, absolutely nothing at all. She subdued herself and went back to her work.

"Maybe, I should wait for a miracle…" Rukia shook her head. "What am I talking about? Miracles could never happen to someone like me."

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"TADA!" shouted Matsumoto, striding in with a frilly pink dress which showed off her cleavage to the world. "I look so good, don't I?" She laughed and then continued to spin around in front of a mirror. Rukia looked at her longingly. No, not at Matsumoto, but at the dress. She wanted a dress like that too. But more than everything, she wanted to go to the ball.

Nanao walked in, dressed in a plain dark blue dress. Nope, she wasn't into frills, not like her mother.

"_My Nanao-chan is so beautiful!" shouted Shunsui, eliciting laughs from the other people around him. Nanao resisted the all powerful urge to throw her tome at him._

"Don't I look good, Nanao?" asked Matsumoto.

"Yes, very good." If Nanao said anything else (unless of course it was also a compliment), she would get her head bashed in.

"Here I am!" announced Soi Fon. She sauntered in wearing a nicely fitting short, black dress. She too then spun around in front of the mirror. "Hey, I look pretty neat."

"I look better!" argued Matsumoto.

"No, I do! Shouldn't you want your daughter to look better than you?" asked Soi Fon, doing a nice pose.

"No. I look the best, full stop," said Matsumoto. She glanced at their grandfather clock. "Oh my, it's already 8pm. I only took a couple of hours to get dressed… Now, now girls, let's go and catch the Prince's attention!"

"WOOOT!" yelled Soi Fon.

"_Soi Fon said woot…" said Yoruichi. "Interesting."_

"_Didn't you know that? She _always_ says woot," replied Omaeda._

"_Sure… Sounds more like you though."_

"I'll just take the invitation if you don't mind. You two might lose it," said Nanao as she slipped the invitation into her encyclopaedia. The three headed towards the door. Rukia's existence totally slipped out of Matsumoto and Soi Fon's head. But Nanao remembered her 'sister'.

"Have fun cleaning, Rukia, my dear little sister," Nanao said menacingly as evil light danced across her glasses. The door slammed, and Rukia was left all alone. She sighed. And again.

"What should I start off with?" she asked herself. "Cleaning the floor, washing the dishes or—"

"Or going to the ball?" came a voice. Then a puff of white smoke appeared before Rukia.

"What…" Rukia swatted the smoke away with her hand and there appeared a white haired man.

"You are…"

"Your fairy godfather, Ukitake Jyuushirou, at your service," declared the man. "So, you wanted to go to the ball, yes?"

"Yes," replied Rukai, stunned that a random man had appeared in her house and asked her if she wanted to go to the ball. What kind of question was that, of course she wanted to go!

"Good, we wouldn't want to do anything against your will, would we?" asked Ukitake with a smile. Rukia stayed silent and watchful as Ukitake gathered some pink pixie dust and scattered it over Rukia. "First, you will need a beautiful dress!"

_Poof!_

Rukia gasped as a pretty white dress appeared on her(3). The dress was very long, the ends swept the floor in a very graceful manner. White gloves appeared on her hands, they went up to the middle of her biceps.

"And you will need some good, fragrant perfume. Which one, Chanel, Christian Dior, Elizabeth Arden, Lancôme…" Ukitake produced a handful of perfume bottles, all of different sizes and colours.

"What?" asked Rukia, looking at the little bottles. Did they have a difference?

"Ah, you don't know about these perfumes. Truly, do you live under a rock?" asked Ukitake with a laugh, which Rukia assumed meant it was a joke. Ukitake looked between the bottles and decided to pick one for the girl. He sprayed it all over her. When he was done, he stepped back and clasped his hands together. "Good, good. And now, I shall give you some nice shoes… What size are you?"

"Err…um….I…"

"Ok, I'll just give you these." Ukitake snapped his fingers together and then a pair of glass slippers appeared on Rukia's small feet. "And now you're all don— wait, no! I must get you a mask since you are going to a masquerade."

A light bulb appeared above Rukia's head. "I know! I borrowed this from my neighbour…his name is Ichigo and…. Ah ha! I found it!" piped Rukia as she pulled out a mask from under a stack of papers and items. "Ichigo was going on and on about how this mask was the fabled Vaizard mask of the dark ages and how it gave you awesome power. But now, apparently the power has diminished and it's just a normal mask now(4)," explained Rukia as she put it on. "Cool?"

"Cool? No? Hardly…Rukia, it looks…funny. It doesn't go with the dress at all. You ought to have a swan mask or something similar," cried Ukitake.

"But I like it!" argued Rukia as she took the funnily shaped mask off. The teeth, she loved them, they were epic. Ukitake folded his arms and huffed.

"Fine. Now go the ball. I hope no one runs away from you because of that mask," said Ukitake, glaring at the mask. "Be sure to get back before midnight though, Rukia-san. It's nine o'clock now, so you have three hours to show yourself to the world at the ball."

"That's not my purpose…I don't want to show off anything. What have I got to show off anyway? I just want to go to a ball, wear a nice dress and…enjoy myself…for once, in my life…" Rukia trailed off and headed towards the door. She opened it and stepped out into the night.

"Wait, it's a long way to the palace. Which car do you want?" asked the white hair man. He summoned three cars at once. "Lamborghini, BMW X6 or Mini Cooper?"

Rukia stared long and hard at the three different cars. Hey, who cares? They were all cars. "Um, the small one?"

"Mini Cooper it is then!" Ukitake waved the other two off, leaving the red Mini Cooper for Rukia. "Just like you, small." He tossed her a set of keys which Rukia failed to catch.

Rukia pressed the little unlock button and turned back to Ukitake. "Thank you, Ukitake-sama," she said with a bow. Then she got into the car. God knows when she ever learned to drive one.

"Any time, my fairy god daughter!" said Ukitake cheerfully and he returned to the house, closed the door and disappeared with another _poof_.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Rukia entered the hall in her magnificent clothes, wearing Ichigo's vaizard mask. She strode in, her glass slippers clacking against the wooden floor and her dress swept the grounds," said Unohana as Rukia walked into the hall where people were either dancing or eating or talking. "People looked at her in awe when they saw her clothes, but when they saw her mask, they were confused. Some thought it was ugly."

"So this is a ball," muttered Rukia to herself. She made her way to the food and took a grape. Even the grape tasted sweeter than normal. She smiled to herself. Even if no one asked her to dance, she would enjoy herself by eating and watching others dance.

Somewhere on the other side of the stage (ball), was Matsumoto. She wore her Ash Cat mask which only covered the top half of her face. This allowed her to sip her champagne without having to take of the mask.

"Oh, aren't you kinky?" asked a male voice. His words most probably indicated Matusmoto's deep V dress. Matsumoto turned and saw Hisagi standing next to her. She hadn't realised that a guy had sidled up to her, because she was trying to find the Prince. Why were there so many people? They should just disappear; leave her and the Prince alone. Together.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going for the Prince tonight," said Matsumoto with a smirk. She was very confident in her…skills.

"Oh?" said Hisagi, a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Isn't that a bit hard for you?"

Matsumoto turned and glared at Hisagi. "What did you say?"

Hisagi squirmed. "I mean…well, _you're_ Prince _Kaien_ seems to have been taken by someone else…"

Matsumoto turned her head this way and that. "Where, where? Tell me, where the hell is he?"

Hisagi pointed. Kaien was standing next to Rukia, chatting with her. Luckily, because of Rukia's weird mask, Matsumoto didn't know it was Rukia. Matsumoto clenched her fists angrily then dragged Hisagi on to the dance floor. Hisagi grinned. _Mission complete_.

"My, that mask of yours is very, what should I say? Stylish?" asked Kaien, observing the intricate details of Rukia's mask. Rukia laughed.

"People look at me as if I'm crazy for wearing a mask like this. You're the first person to have said something good about it!" _This man is friendly…_ thought Rukia.

A romantic piece of music came on. Kaien offered Rukia his hand. "May I have this dance, my lady?"

Rukia blushed and for once, was thankful for Ichigo's Vaizard mask. She nodded bashfully and took his hand.

"My name is Kaien Shiba, what is yours?" asked the Prince. Rukia gasped very quietly.

"You…you're the Prince?!" she asked, astounded. Kaien gave her a sweet smile which made Rukia melt. "Yes. But you haven't answered my question yet."

Rukia giggled and shook her head slightly. "I don't feel like telling you just yet," she answered playfully. Kaien sighed.

"Whatever you say, my lady." Kaien took Rukia's other hand. The two took their stance and danced in a slow waltz. People turned their attention to the pair and watched as they danced together. They spun and swerved together. They moved with the beat and rhythm. They danced gracefully across the floor, captivating the audience. The spotlight trained on the pair, all others pairs became the background to the couple.

"Just like the Prince and the Princess, the two, Kaien and Rukia danced for the duration of the song," narrated Unohana.

The song started to dwindle away. Rukia sighed and actually managed to rest her head on Kaien's shoulder. Her glass _slippers_ must have given her good boost to her height. It was a pretty moment, a moment she would've never dreamed of. Kaien dipped Rukia down, and Rukia leaned into his arm(5). And then they just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Everyone stayed silent as they watched. The music stopped, no new song was played. Kaien moved his hand to take Rukia's mask off as he leaned down to kiss her. Rukia closed her eyes and smiled. And then…

The grandfather clocked signalled midnight.

Rukia's eyes snapped open. She had to get home before midnight. She had lost track of time with all the food, dance, _Prince Kaien_, food, _Prince Kaien_. She ripped herself out of Kaien's grasp and broke into a run for the doors.

"My lady! Where are you going?" shouted Kaien as he too took off after the girl. Rukia continued to run like hell towards the car park where her Mini Cooper was parked. In the midst of all the confusion, Rukia lost one of her glass slippers, but she charged on. Kaien continued to give chase, but gave up when he saw the Mini Cooper roaring down the highway.

"I never knew ladies could drive like that," commented Kaien. He picked up Rukia's glass slipper. "This…this must have been her lady's! This will be my key to finding her! And I thought all was lost…why did she leave? Does she hate me?" Kaien continued to ponder as he walked back into his palace, gripping the glass slipper as if his life depended on it.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Rukia had cried when she got home. If only she could stay there for eternity. Kaien was all she could think about. But there was nothing she could do about it. She told herself she would never be able to see Kaien again. The next day though…" said Unohana.

"Did any of you get the Prince?" asked Matsumoto. Despite her failure, she seemed happy. Maybe she had found a good substitute…the one with scars and tattoos?

"No," answered the two sisters in unison. Rukia sighed. The three turned towards her.

"Why are you sighing?" asked Nanao.

"And it sounds like a _love_ fuelled one," said Soi Fon, which to Rukia's surprise, pinpointed her feelings exactly. A rap on the door saved Rukia from the interrogation. Matsumoto went to fetch it.

"Oh, Prince Kaien?" Matsumoto put on a supposed seductive voice. "What brings you here?"

"I'm here to find the owner of this slipper…" Kaien produced Rukia's slipper with a heel of ten inches. The two sisters converged at the doorway beside their mother. All of Rukia's vision of Kaien disappeared, the three blocked her view. And Kaien couldn't see that there was another girl inside the house. The three women were eager to try it on. They took their turns, but the shoe did not fit any of them. It was too small; it was for a dainty person who desperately wanted to be taller.

"Excuse me?" asked Rukia. Her voice was deep, soft, yet strong. Kaien blinked at her and smiled.

"Please try." Kaien had a good feeling about this. Rukia slipped the shoe on with ease. As Kaien laughed and clapped happily, Rukia pulled out Ichigo's Vaizard mask.

"Remember this?"

"Of course, how could I not?" Kaien grabbed Rukia's hand. "Let's go."

Rukia stepped out of the glass shoe and looked at the man. "Where to?"

"My palace."

Rukia gasped. Everything she had dreamed of but deemed impossible were now possible, to her! "Yes, I will come with you." She let Kaien lead her to wherever.

"Rukia, you went to the ball?" asked Matsumoto. The look on her face was pure astonishment.

Rukia turned and looked at her mother and two sisters with her amethyst eyes. "Yes I did, mother." She nodded. "Farewell."

"And Rukia was spirited away by Kaien, and they lived happily ever after in Kaien's nicely lavished palace," ended Unohana. "The end."

The crowd cheered and clapped once again. The cast came out and bowed before leaving the stage in unison to get changed.

"The next play, dear audience, will be 'Cinderella: Another story'. Stay tuned everyone!" Unohana left the stage.

This excited chatter in the crowd. They already did a Cinderella…what was with this 'Cinderella: Another story'? Well, they would have to wait.

* * *

(1) – konpeito is a jap lolly thing. I think they appeared in bleach. It's also called space candy

(2) – Class thirteen just means the division thirteen in bleach

(3) – ah, yeah, I know it's not possible to do that in a play on a stage...just bear with me, please?

(4) – Yes, it's Ichigo's hollow mask, for those who are confused

(5) – you know where people lean when dancing…that's what I mean.

A/N: That, I don't think, was particularly funny. I think and hope Cinderella: Another story will be better (ie, funnier) so yes. Stay tuned, as Unohana-taichou said.

Thank you! Please read and review, dear fanfictioners.


	4. Cinderella: Another story

**CHAPTER 3:Cinderella, another story**

"OI!" howled Renji. His voice did miracles. The crowd hushed. "I got all that Cinderella casting written down. Anymore ideas?"

The crowd started muttering between themselves once again. A hand went up after a while.

"Yo!" shouted Shunsui.

"You got an idea Kyouraku?" asked Kira.

"Yeah. Considering that we're doing Cinderella…why don't we do a cracked version of Cinderella. Like one where there are two guys and a fairy godfather or something like that. You know, those funny ones that manipulate the Cinderella story line."

"What? Does that mean guy on guy stuff?" asked Hisagi. "Ew."

"Nah, I don't mean that. There's no need for romance in this," said Shunsui. "It's just for laughs."

"What about, the 'Cinderella' gets bullied and kicked around by his two stepbrothers and stepfather?" chirped Yachiru randomly. She was seated on Kenpachi's shoulder. Renji, Hisagi and Kira exchanged glances.

"Ok, why not," said Renji. "Now let's do the casting!" Indeed, these plays seemed like they would be rather…rough. "Who's Cinderella? We're getting a male to do that part this time aren't we?" _And we better change the name. A guy can't go around being called Cinderella,_ thought Renji.

"You, coz then we can call you a ranga!" shouted Ikkaku. Renji's vein popped. Ikkaku seemed to be trying to piss him off every single time!

"NO, why don't you be Cinderella so that we can laugh at your bald head?" Renji yelled back.

"Renji…I think you would be good as Cinderella," commented Hitsugaya. Renji stared at him in disbelief.

"How could you Toshirou? How could you possibly agree with that retard? My hair colour was and still perfectly _fine_!!" screamed Renji. He then scuttled away to hide/cry in the corner of the stage.

"Toshirou, you made Renji sad!" said Hinamori, frowning at Histsugaya.

"Eh, like I care."

Hisagi decided that he take Renji's position. He scrawled the name 'Abarai Renji' into the Cinderella: another version slot. "Renji is Cinderella!"

Ikkaku cheered. The next role though, it would be interesting to see who got it.

"Who shall be the prince?" asked Hisagi, smirking. _Renji and a prince…how interesting,_ thought Hisagi. A hand instantly shot up. "What ya got Rukia?"

The black haired girl stood up and yelled, "BYAKUYA KUCHIKI!"

Several gasps could be heard. Woah, Byakya and Renji, get a load of that. Byakuya turned and glared at his adopted sister.

"I now disown you. You are not my sister," said Byakuya coldly.

"I'm sure you won't do that, my dear brother."

Hisagi laughed. Oh, this was getting amusing. He looked at Kira questioningly.

"Yeah, put him down," said Kira.

"And Byakuya Kuchiki is the prince!" announced Hisagi. Byakuya growled and fumed silently. _Damn school, damn Rukia,_ he thought.

"The next roles will be the two step siblings and step parent!" exclaimed Hisagi.

"US HISAGI, US!" screamed Ikkaku, flailing his arms in the air.

"What us? I only see you jumping up and down," said Kira.

"Me, Yumichika and…"

"Kenny! Kenny can be the stepfather!" yelled out Yachiru.

"Um…what do the rest of you think of that…" asked Kira. Hisagi thought it was a good idea, so he put Ikkaku and Yumichika in the stepbrothers slot and Kenpachi in the stepfather. He hadn't got the consent of the rest of the school yet, but, what gives?

"Alright, next role shall be the godmother or father!" declared Hisagi.

"But they haven't agreed to Ikkaku and—"

"Oh screw them. Godfather! Anyone! Hands up!" yelled Hisagi, projecting his voice across the hall so that everyone could hear.

"SHUNSUI!" yelled out Ukitake.

"Hmm, that sounds good. Kyouraku was the one who gave this idea in the first place," said Hisagi as he was about to write his name in. But then he stopped. Someone had called out.

"URAHARA!" It was Yoruichi.

"Yoruichi-san, that's not very nice. I don't want that role," replied Urahara.

"Who needs to be nice to you?" replied Yoruichi.

"YES! Urahara suits that role better than I do!" called out Shunsui. Ah, he didn't want to do any practice for a stupid play. It meant work for him!

"Right…" muttered Hisagi, writing 'Urahara Kisuke' clearly in the book. "And I think that's it…we'll work out the other background people."

"What background people?" asked Kira.

"You know, the ones who are also at the 'ball' thing…" Hisagi thought for a moment. "Which reminds me, how do we _manipulate_ Cinderella?"

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Once upon a time, there was a very unfortunate boy called Renji. His father had died first, then his mother. Before his mother had died though, she had married a man called Kenpachi who brought his two sons along too. So now, the four were stuck together. And believe me, Renji got owned," narrated Shunsui. Oh, they just had to give him work in the end, didn't they?

"Oi, wipe that place, you've already wiped here twice Renji," said Ikkaku savagely, kicking the Renji who was on the ground, wiping the floors. Renji sprawled across the ground after the kick. What could he do? He hated them all, his two 'brothers' and vicious 'father'. If he fought with one of them, the other two would avenge the other and bash up Renji.

Renji blinked away a tear and continued to crawl around wiping the floor. They had no mop.

"Oh, everybody!!" came Yumichika's shrill voice, waving an envelope in the air. Renji looked up at the girl man. "Not you ranga, this is none of your business."

"Wassup," greeted Kenpachi casually, strolling into the room, totally ignoring Renji.

"Oh daddy, look, we got an invitation to Prince Byakuya's tournament for the strongest warrior!" cried Yumichika, looking awfully happy. Renji looked up. He'd always wanted to show his strength and power…but his 'family' always got in the way.

"AHAHA! I SHALL SHOW THE WORLD HOW AWESOME I AM!! No one will be able to defeat me!" yelled Ikkaku. Their father, Kenpachi ripped the letter from Yumichika's grasp and read it himself.

"Oh, this will be a very good chance to show my abilities!" bellowed Kenpachi who then started laughing crazily. "I will be unbeatable!!" He grabbed his sword off a sword rack and began randomly swishing it around, causing vases and plates to crack and smash and fall to the ground as the sword connected with all of them.

Renji frowned. Kenpachi had just destroyed a bunch of things. Oh, now he had to clean up! Renji stood up and faced the rest of the people in the house. He had never considered them as family.

"Can I go too?" he asked. At once he regretted it. He sounded so weak and feeble, like he was pleading to go. No, the letter had said that everyone of the household go. Renji was not a slave, he was a member of the household.

"You? You can't even fight!" said Ikkaku, taking what Renji said as a hilarious joke.

"I'm not joking. And yes I can fight, thank you very much, Ikkaku," said Renji, glowering at the man. Renji had to show them authority. He was a man, he couldn't let other people control his life! But guess what, he had already let them do so for the last couple of years.

"You will not go," said Kenpachi. That was the end the conversation. But Renji would not let if finish so easily.

"Why? Why can't I go?" Renji asked, firmly but angrily this time.

"Coz you're a ranga!" said Ikkaku with a smirk. Renji narrowed his eyes at him. _Damn Ikkaku…_

"Well, you're bald!" yelled Renji, pointing accusingly at Ikkaku. "And you're freaking homosexual!" This time he pointed to Yumichika. "And you're a _maniac_!" Renji's voice had risen to a scream when his finger finally landed on Kenpachi.

This time, all three of them laughed crazily. "And you, Renji, are a _ranga_!" they yelled unison.

"Get to work, or I'll beat the crap outta ya!" shouted Kenpachi, shoving Renji aside.

"You won't be going to the tournament. That's final!" said Yumichika with a very, very creepily evil smirk as he proudly walked away.

Ikkaku though, didn't seem like he was going to leave anytime soon. He repeatedly thrust a fist into his open palm as if he was about to fight. "Any last words?" he asked. Indeed, he was planning to bash up the little red head.

"My hair is better, coz you don't have any."

Ikkaku growled, ticked off by Renji's comment.

"Stupid last words," said Ikkaku as he raised his fist to punch Renji. Normally, Renji would just accept the blows and be off. But this time, Renji didn't want to back down. He grabbed Ikkaku's attacking fist and flung him to the floor.

"Don't touch me." And that was all Renji said before he left to his bedroom, the attic. The lounge was still an epic mess.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Oh father! What should I wear?" asked Yumichika, clearly excited that he was going to the tournament. _Oh, I totally want to meet Prince Byakuya!_ thought Yumichika.

"Yumichika, it says here clearly, that we are to wear our proper shinigami outfits with our zanpakutou. So we're not allowed to wear whatever we want," said Ikkaku, already in his black shihakushou, strapping his sword to the white waist belt.

"Aw, damn, I don't get to flaunt what I have!" complained Yumichika, pouting.

"_Is Yumichika showing his true self here?" asked Hisagi quietly, down below as the audience. _

"_Oh of course, I'd be doing the same thing if I were him!" replied Matsumoto, her breasts practically jiggling in Hisagi's face, supposedly 'flaunting'. Hisagi facepalmed. _

"Oi, Kenpachi! You done yet?" yelled Ikkaku. Geez, what took their old man so long? Renji was sitting away from them, surveying their actions. He wanted to go…but he had neither shinigami outfit nor a sword, what was he going to do?

Kenpachi strode into the lounge. His hair was gelled into points with bells attached to the end. Everyone, including Renji, stared at the father. He usually had his hair down. Now it was all done up, and he even wore an eyepatch, so as to make him look menacing.

"What the fuck…" was all Ikkaku could manage.

"Oh father, that is not fashionable!" shrieked Yumichika. "What is with that hair? We must fix it up for you, right now!"

"What! I want my hair like this. I think it looks good, so shut up you two brats!" Kenpachi flicked a look at Renji. "Stop gaping, ranga!"

Renji turned away, and started wiping the dining table. Wow, Kenpachi was really into this tournament.

"Alright, let's go. Renji, you stay here and do all the housework. If you leave the house, I will personally murder you!" shouted Kenpachi.

"I haven't changed yet!" said Yumichika, running to his room.

"Hurry up! You don't wanna miss your Prince Byakuya do you?" asked Ikkaku. He glared at Renji as he recalled the moment where Renji had actually fought back. Renji met his glare and the two exchanged death glares, having a mini mind battle while Yumichika got changed.

"I'm done everyone!" announced Yumichika. Ikkaku looked at his brother and looked shocked.

"What's with your eyebrows? Are they peacock feathers? Ew."

"These are very—"

"Hurry up you two, I'm not gonna wait all day," barked Kenpachi. The two brothers stopped their bickering and shuffled out the door. Ikkaku shot a final look at Renji. He gave him the finger before the door shut behind him.

"Faggot," muttered Renji. He sighed. Now he had to do all the washing up, the housework, the cleaning! _Damn the world!_ thought Renji. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was 6:30. When did the tournament end again? Renji forgot. He sat for a few moments, relishing in the silence. He loved it whenever the three of them went out. Afterwards, he picked up a feather duster and started dusting the area. Halfway through, he got distracted and started practising his sword skills with the ridiculously pink feather duster. He slashed left, he swiped right. Renji sighed, he would never be able to show the extent of his skill.

Suddenly, a puff of smoke appeared in front of him. Renji raised his feather duster in combat mode, ready to attack. Oh yes, it was a very vicious weapon, was it not?

"Hello!" greeted the person who appeared from the pink smoke. He was wearing a green and white striped hat and held a folding fan and cane.

"Who the hell are you?" deadpanned Renji.

"Aw, that's no way to greet your fairy godfather!" replied the supposed fairy godfather. He opened the fan and started fanning himself.

"What happened to my fairy godmother?" asked Renji.

"Oh, her…" the man looked to the side shiftily. "She got turned into a black cat."

"_Is that me?" asked Yoruichi, watching Urahara act on the stage._

"_I think so? Who else but you would be the 'black cat'?" asked Soi Fon as she fondled one of her black kitty key rings._

"I am Urahara! Nice to see you Renji! Now, do you want to do to the tournament being held by Prince Byakuya?" asked Urahara.

"Yes! I really want to show my abilities and how strong I really am!" exclaimed Renji. Did his fairy godfather have a way?

"I have a way!"

"Oh really?"

"Ya really!"

"Yes! Please tell!"

"I will use my magical abilities to give you what you need. You better get there quick, or you'll be late and miss the tournament all together!" exclaimed Urahara. He raised his cane and like dubbing, he patted the end of the cane on both of Renji's shoulders. Urahara then stared to mutter incoherent words, like a chant, and Renji felt energy surge into him.

"Are you giving me steroids?" asked Renji. His fairy godfather did not reply. Finally, the rambling stopped. With a flick of a wrist, a black shihakusho appeared on Renji.

"The shinigami outfit!" shrieked Renji. How he had always wanted one. With another flick of the wrist, a sword appeared at Renji's waist.

"And to make you look cool, I shall replace your eyebrows with tattoos…"

Before Renji had any chance to say 'NO', tattoos had already appeared on his skin. "Why? Ahhhh, I have creepy tattoos! Where did my eyebrows go?"

Urahara ignored Renji's complaints. "And I will give you a cloth headband thing…" A white head band appeared on his forehead.

"ENOUGH!" yelled Renji. "Stop giving me so many changes to my appearance!"

"Oh, alright then. Hmm, you'll need to get there fast though. I'll give you the ability to shunpo!" cried out Urahara. Once again, he raised the cane.

"What the hell is shunpo?" asked Renji.

"It is the ability to _flash step_!" said Urahara mysteriously. Once again, he mumbled a chant. "There we go! Now go boy, go and show the world what you can do!!" Urahara shoved the red head out the door. "Be sure to get back before midnight!" yelled Urahara. Renji gave a thumbs up sign and flash stepped out into the night.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"Renji sliced at his opponent, taking another one down. The competitors of the tournament who had already lost cheered on the sidelines. This was the final battle; the winning competitors had fought against each other for the honour to fight with Prince Byakuya. And Renji had just won," said Shunsui into the microphone.

Byakuya, observing all the duels from a high backed seat, stood up gracefully and descended a few steps and walked towards Renji.

"Oh my god, it's Prince Byakuya!" said Omaeda with a gasp. He was a competitor in the tournament. Sadly, he had lost on the first round. How shameful.

"The red head's going to fight with the all awesome Prince!" exclaimed Isane with a squeal, also a competitor in the tournament. "The red head's good." Isane had fought and lost to Renji in one of the duels.

"So you're the Prince who's caught everyone's attention eh? Let's see how good you really are," called out Renji with a smirk.

Byakuya laughed. "Ah, you have done well, to fight to this stage. Good job. Let's have some fun with this duel, shall we?" He laughed again as he drew his sword.

His laugh though, sounded strained to the ears of the audience. Everyone knew about Byakuya's uncaring and cold appearance. He never laughed, he never _talked_ like that.

"_Byakuya's very out of character," whispered Rukia, sniggering. Oh, she was so proud of herself for pushing Byakuya forward as the Prince._

"_What do you expect, it's a play!" replied Kaien, grinning. Ah, Byakuya Kuchiki. This was very amusing, to see Byakuya go fully out of character for a play._

"_Little Bya-chan must have thrown away a lot of dignity and his high-and-mighty pride away to do this," said Yoruichi with a smirk. "I'm glad I told the script writers to put that in."_

Renji couldn't help grinning. After all their rehearsals, he still couldn't get over Byakuya making an attempt to be happy. _LOL_, thought Renji.

"Let us fight!" shouted Byakuya. _I will seriously kill whoever wrote these lines for me! _thought Byakuya.

"I will be the one who defeats you!" Renji yelled out, unleashing(1) his sword on Byakuya. There was a slash, a clang, and thump, a kick. The battle lasted for ages. Neither seemed tired and they were both eager to fight on. The two attacked at the same time and deadlocked.

"You fight well, what is your name?" asked Byakuya. Renji looked into the man's eyes and saw a hint of sadness/hatred/why the fuck am I in the play sort of feeling. He flinched. Byakuya must hate his role big time.

"I'll tell you my name, if you win me!" taunted Renji as he shoved Byakuya away and attacked again. He swiped at the long haired man who dodged the attack and stabbed at Renji in return.

Despite the clash and clang of their swords, the twelve low, dull chimes of the clock rang and projected its soundwaves across the whole room. The chiming signalled it was midnight. Renji gasped. _"Be sure to get back before midnight!" _Those words rang in his ears. Urahara had told him so as he left the house. He didn't know why, but Urahara was his fairy godfather, so everything the man did was for Renji's own good, wasn't it?

Damn, he couldn't finish off the battle. Byakuya was indeed a worthy opponent. Renji swiped to get some distance between himself and the Prince before bolting for the huge double doors of the hall.

"Where are you going, oh worthy opponent!" yelled Byakuya, instantly chasing after the red head.

The whole audience cracked up at Byakuya saying such a thing. Byakuya recoiled at the laughing, but continued to run after Renji.

Renji turned to look at the man before flash stepping a bit forward, trying to get away from Byakuya. The magic and powers that Urahara had bestowed upon Renji were wearing off. The white head band on his head dissolved away into the night as Renji burst through the doors of Byakuya's palace.

"Why, why are you leaving so suddenly?" screamed Byakuya, relentlessly chasing Renji.

Renji finally stopped, and turned around. "Sorry." Then he flash stepped back home, leaving Byakuya all alone in the night. Byakuya tightened his fist into a ball.

"And I thought I had finally found myself a worthy opponent. Well, I did, but he's run off. We will never get to finish our battle. How strange, why did he leaving all of a sudden, just like that?" asked Byakuya, talking to himself. Just as he was about to turn away, he spotted a light shape on the ground in front of him. He walked towards it and picked it up.

It was a sandal.

A shinigami outfit sandal. No doubt it had belonged to the mysterious red head warrior!

"Yes! I might just now be able to find my fellow opponent!" called out Byakuya in glee. He skipped back into his palace, cuddling the new found sandal of Abarai Renji.

X.X.X.X.X.X.X.X

"You know, that guy who ran away while fighting Prince Byakuya, dontcha think he kinda looked like the ranga?" asked Ikkaku as ignoring Renji's presence. When did they ever acknowledge him anyway? If they did, it would be a shove, a yell, a curse word or a demand. _Fuck them, _thought Renji. _They were pathetic,I didn't see any of them during the tournament. They must have lost in one of the earlier rounds._

"Nonsense, that guy can't fight, how could it possibly be him?" replied Kenpachi.

"Do you reckon the Prince saw me?" asked Yumichika, fluttering his peacock feathered eyelashes. He hadn't taken them off after the tournament. Neither had Kenpachi, his hair was still gelled.

"'Course not, you're too fugly," replied Ikkaku. Yumichika glared at him and was about to hit his brother when the door bell rang. Renji looked up, who the hell would come to _their _home?

"Ooo, I'll get it!" Yumichika rushed to the door and opened it. Then he gasped. "Oh! Byakuya-sama! What a pleasure to see you here? Can I help you?" After he had said so, Ikkaku and Kenpachi rushed towards to door as well. "Oh Prince Byakuya! How are you?" The three kept asking questions, and Byakuya had no chance to tell them why he was there.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Byakuya. The three cringed. Renji smirked. _Go the prince!_ thought Renji. He could never make the three cringe like that.

"I am here to find the owner of this sandal. I believe he is the worthy opponent I was fighting last night," explained Byakuya. Renji smiled. Last night's battle was indeed fun. Such as shame, it would never be finished… The three standing at the door blocked Renji's view of the Prince.

"Oh, I lost my sandal on the way home! It must be mine!" lied Yumichika, eager to try it on before Ikkaku could. He slipped if foot in. It was too small. "Oh look, it fits! I'm the one you're trying to find!"

"Dude, anyone can see its way too big for you," complained Ikkaku. "Lemme try." He shoved his foot into the sandal but was too small for him. He squeezed his foot into the small shoe and succeeded. "Look, it's me! You found be Prince Byakuya!"

"Sorry mister, but I think the sandal is too small for you. You foot is threatening to break the sandal material," stated Byakuya. "I think I should go…"

"I SHALL TRY!" bellowed Kenpachi.

"Sir, you foot is at least twice the size of the sandal. Don't bother. I guess there is no point tallying here, I shall go next door and—"

"Allow me, Prince Byakuya."

Renji walked towards them. _It's time I do what I want to do_, thought Renji. His 'family' glared at him. Renji could hear their thoughts. _Bastard, don't even try…_ thought Ikkaku. Renji smiled his best smile at the Prince and put the sandal on.

It was a perfect fit.

Byakuya's eyes widened. He had found his fellow opponent. "I have found you, my worthy opponent!" he shrieked. He grabbed Renji's arm. "Come me, let us finish the battle!"

"Yes, let's." Renji turned around and gave his family a final glare. He looked at them with disdain, then it turned into a smirk. "Cya, _brothers_ and _father_," he said sarcastically before turning back to the cheerful Prince Byakuya. The two linked arms and skipped off the stage.

"And Prince Byakuya and Renji skipped off into sunset and they lived and fought happily ever after!" chirped Shunsui, the narrator. "The end!"

Everyone in the play came out and bowed as the audience cheered and clapped. Rukia laughed. "A cheerful Byakuya! How rare!"

After all the clapping had died down, Byakuya yelled, "Who wrote those lines for me!"

"I did!" screamed Yoruichi. She stood up. "Bet ya can't catch me, little Bya-chan!" Byakuya growled and narrowed his eyes at the dark female. He would let Yoruichi feel his pain, having to act totally out of character on the stage. _Damn woman,_ thought Byakuya angrily. He stomped off the stage and chased after her.

"And the next play will be…" Shunsui searched through his script. "Hansel and Gretel!"

* * *

A/N: (1) – sorry, no shikai or bankai in this fic

And yeah, I think Byakuya was a little out of character at the end. Well, it's more like a reference to his history with Yoruichi coz they played 'catch' a lot during the turn back the pendulum arc.

Lol, that was fun. I hope you enjoyed it and will give me a review! Thanks!


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